1. A toothless robber in Beijing tried to rob a bank to finance a new set of teeth. But Li Han, 43, couldn’t make himself understood. All the teller at the bank heard was: “Umm ung umm ung umm.” Li had to repeat his demands five times. By then cops had arrived.
2. A man tried to rob a bank after paying US$500 to a wizard to make him invisible. Thinking no one could see him, he strolled into a bank in Tehran and started snatching money out of people’s hands. He was astonished when angry customers wrestled him to the ground. He told police HE was the victim. “A big trick was played on me,” he said.
3. A robber successfully robbed a bank in Germany. But when he noticed mistakes in the newspaper report, he complained via email to reporters and cops. Within hours, police tracked him down and arrested him.
4. A US man was given a prison sentence for driving while drunk. He went home, got blind drunk and drove himself to jail. Prison officers released the Massachusetts man, 42, so he could be taken to court and charged with a new crime.
5. A Hong Kong robber waited until he was in a bank before trying to pull a stocking over his head, former top police officer JS Lam recently revealed in his column on this page. But (as all women know) putting on stockings is a difficult job needing two hands and many years of practice. “He failed miserably, dropping his bag and toy pistol in the process,” Mr Lam said.
But there was one recent “dumb criminal” Mark Smith, 53, tried to rob a bank in Watsonville, California.
The bank manager urged him to take out a loan instead.
Mr Smith was filling in a large pile of forms when officers arrived to arrest him.
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